I read this post the other day about novel new methods of kissing your special someone (the blogger in question says she took it from an article she found online). I can sum most of them up in one word: CHEESE! However, for the sake of clarity, I will comment on each method separately:

ICE KISS: Celebrate the first day of winter with an ice kiss. Put an ice cube in your mouth until your mouth becomes cold. Remove the cube, track down your love and plant a kiss that will send chills!

MY COMMENTS: Ice cubes in the mouth add a unique aspect to another activity between a woman and her special someone, and it isn't kissing.

ELECTRIC SHOCK KISS The two of you shuffle your feet furiously on carpet. When you both have an electric charge, lean over and slowly aim for each other's lips. With your lips about one-half inch apart, move in even slower until a spark jumps between the two of you. Instantly after this happens, kiss one another.

MY COMMENTS: This seems dangerous. You want a shock - why don't each of you hold on to either terminal on a car battery?!?

POST-IT KISS Use 3M Post-It notes to make a trail through your house that leads to your lips. Put a lipstick print or lip symbol on each note with an arrow pointing to the next note. You, of course, are at the end of the trail with a Post-It note over your lips that says, "LIFT FOR KISS"

MY COMMENTS: Gay.

KISSING IN THE RAIN The next time it rains, grab an umbrella, rain coats, and your love. Then go outside and kiss in the rain. If the spirit of the kiss moves you, remove the umbrella and kiss 'till the two of you are soaked.

MY COMMENTS: Gay.

HERSHEYS KISSES Prepare a small bag of Hershey's kisses and slip it into your love's purse, briefcase, or lunchbox. Attach a note that reads "SORRY, I CAN'T BE THERE IN PERSON, BUT THINK OF ME AND DO THE FOLLOWING: Close your eyes and place the candy between your lips. Drop the candy in your mouth and roll it on your tongue until it melts.

MY COMMENTS: Gay.

KISSES IN A BALLOON Cut out small red tissue lips, and place them inside an opaque balloon filled with helium (any party store could do this for you) Tie the balloon to your love's chair at dinner. Desert is a shower of kisses delivered by a sharp pin.

MY COMMENTS: Gay.

TOLL KISS Next time you are driving your love somewhere, stop the car before crossing a bridge or going through a tunnel, and say the toll must be paid before you can go any further. Of course, the toll cost in one kiss.

MY COMMENTS: Lame. (Tired of saying gay)

MORSE CODE KISS If you know Morse code, great, If not, this is a great way to learn. Find a Morse Code chart. Using long and short kisses, spell out a message to your love and have him or her try to decipher them.

MY COMMENTS: This is wierd. If someone did this to me, I would hide from them forever.

KISSING METER KISSES We have parking meters, so why not kissing meters? Turn a box into your own kissing meter and wear it around your neck. Give your love kissing tokens to start your kissing meter. Have an "expired" sign appear when you need another kiss.

MY COMMENTS: This is very wierd. If someone did this to me, I would really hide from them forever.

STAIRWELL KISS This kiss is to be done at a party or at a gathering with your love. Steal away to a private location like behind a door or tree, or on the stairwell and passionately kiss each other. The risk of being discovered in the act is the key element.

MY COMMENTS: I can think of ways to make this way more interesting. I would strongly consider incorporating the ideas presented in my comments re: the ice kiss.

SCUBA KISSING Wearing a diving mask and fins, simulate swimming underwater. Snorkel across the room to your love and kiss him or her.

MY COMMENTS: This is very, very wierd. If someone did this to me, I would change my name, move and really, really hide from them forever.

EYE TEST KISS Make an eye chart like the ones that you see in a doctor's office where the letters get progressively smaller. Have the chart read, "IF you can read this you are standing close enough to kiss me." Now find your love and give an eye exam.

MY COMMENTS: Gay.

THYMELY KISS Thyme, according to the Greeks, is the herb which makes one irresistible kissable. Prepare a meal for your love using the herb. Moments after the first bite, rush to your love's lips with a passionate kiss. Come up for air, announce the Greeks were right, then rush back with another passionate kiss.

MY COMMENTS: The greeks were gay.

SHOPPING LIST KISSES Turn your shopping list into a scorecard the next time the two of you go shopping. The one who finds the item gets credit toward one kiss. Kisses are collected either on delivery to the grocery cart, or later at home.

MY COMMENTS: Really gay.

BAD HABIT KISS Offer to stop a bad habit if your love will pay you kisses. For instance, a kiss for each cigarette not smoked, putting the toilet seat down, and/or every phone call kept under three minutes is rewarded with a kiss.

MY COMMENTS: Lame.

CLOUD SHAPE KISS Take your love to the backyard or out in a field: lie down on a blanket, and together inspect cloud formations. When both of you see the same thing, reward each other with a kiss.

MY COMMENTS: Kiss anyway.

CHECK KISS With your personal check, make a check out to your love for 1,000 kisses. Tell your love he or she can cash it in any time.

MY COMMENTS: Gay.

TOE KISS Prepare a foot bath for your love at the end of a long day. After the good soak, you towel dry his or her feet, give a massage and seal each toe with a kiss.

MY COMMENTS: Elements of SM/domination fantasies...I'm not really into this sort of thing, but hey, if you are, maybe this is cool.

CHOCOLATE HEART KISSES Buy several boxes of little chocolate hearts that have sayings on them. Pick out all the "KISS ME" hearts and put them in a heart shaped box with the note "REDEEMABLE ANYTIME, day or night!"

MY COMMENTS: Really gay.

RENDEZVOUS KISS With a note or phone call, tell your love to meet you at a certain place and time (e.g. park bench, street corner, ice cream stand) for a present. When your love arrives, have a bow stuck to your lips.

MY COMMENTS: Starts off ok, but then degrades quickly into a situation where I would want to go into hiding again.

BATH KISS Surprise your love with a kiss while he/she is showering or in the tub.

MY COMMENTS: and the what?

MACHINE GUN KISS In rapid succession, plant 12 quick ones on your lover's lips.

MY COMMENTS: Wierd. Very mechanical...invented by Germans?

KISS-A-THON Passionately kiss your love for at least five minute longer than usual.

MY COMMENTS: Normal.

PINK PANTHER KISS Humming the Pink Panther theme, prowl toward your partner. On the high note, pounce and pucker. Suggestion-wear only pink!

MY COMMENTS: If someone does this to you, change your identity, go into witness protection program and disappear. This person is not firing on all eight.

THIRST QUENCHER KISS For no reason, stare at your love's mouth while licking your lips as though dying of thirst. Inevitably, your love will ask what you're doing. ANSWER: I want them! I have to have them! I yearn to drink from them! Then ask for a kiss to quench your thirst!

MY COMMENTS: Very weird.

GREAT EXPECTATIONS KISS Inform your love one morning that he or she will soon receive a fabulous kiss. Later, call you love with a reminder. When next you see your love, pull out the stops and plant a long, hot, passionate kiss.

MY COMMENTS: Over engineered.

GOODBYE KISS Send off your love in the morning with a quick kiss. As your love turns to leave, pull him or her back for a second, more passionate kiss

MY COMMENTS: This is a good start...

BREAKFAST IN BED KISS Slip out of bed early and prepare a special "Kissing" breakfast to serve to your love in bed. Pick foods that you can easily pick up and feed to your love. Kiss between bites!

MY COMMENTS: I don't know.

AUDIO STIMULATION Make a cassette of kissing noises and place in your love's cassette player (walkman, car or home) with a note attached.

MY COMMENTS: Very strange. Think seriously about dating someone else.

REWARD KISS Next time your love performs some disliked home chore like cleaning the bathroom, mowing the lawn, or taking out the garbage, show your appreciation by tucking a candy kiss in a strategic location.

MY COMMENTS: Lame.

CAMPING KISS On a beautiful cool night, you and your love crawl into a sleeping bag outside. Cuddle and kiss.

MY COMMENTS: Why not just do it inside?

Chan Thai Long's Overall Opinion: I suspect that whoever wrote this article (I am assuming a female) might have been charged with stalking. The article that was the source of this advice is not helpful and reminds one of Fatal Attraction. This whole thing freaked me out.