How about a set of movie reviews? Here are some things I watched recently:

Heavy
A movie about a mother's boy who is overweight and desires a beautiful woman who has another boyfriend (i.e. younger and better looking). A nice predictable hollywood treatment would have been so much better than the, I suppose, artful approach. Reminded me of The Piano in its pointlessness. *

Spiderman 2
A little long, but really very good. Rent it, watch it, enjoy it...there are no "messages" to understand or reflect upon. Solid, mindless entertainment. ***

Becket
Ok, I did not watch this recently. It is a classic and was in the theatres in the 19th century...ok not quite, 1960 something anyway. Peter O'Toole and Richard Berton. Simply the bext movie ever (and even somewhat historically accurate). *****

While I suppose confusion about sexual preferences may effectively double one's chances of getting a date, I am fortunately (or unfortunately as the case may be for some I would rather NOT know about) unequivocably straight. My initial homophobe reaction was to simply delete the comments wrt the Trailer Park Boys from the last post, but hey it's the 21st century so whatever...

You see I love Americans, and they ARE TRULY our (i.e. Canadians') brothers and sisters. Canadians, of course, love to pretend they are so different, but they aren't really. It is funny that we seem to need to articulate our differences, when our similarities is what profits us the most. That being said, American TV is getting worse and Canadian TV is getting better. The comments from the last post are simply indicative of an ignorance of good TV. So for all my fellow american's south of the 49th parallel (technically ANYONE in the western hemisphere is an american - note that is is the United States OF America), it is my understanding that you can throw away the chains of your restrictive, censored TV programming and tune into the Trailer Park Boys on BBC America.

When I awoke, Thousand Fragrance Child was standing over me. It was kind of freaky! Anyway, as soon as I opened my eyes my master shared another deep thought: "Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny."

Well, moving on...I have decided to give a list of my top 10 addictions:

1. Trailer Park Boys - This show is almost as good as sweet and power chicken.
2. NeoCitron - Turns out this cold medicine is only available in Canada. Can be taken recreationally.
3. Gloria - My favourite Head of State. I guess it is kind of wrong to fix elections...too bad. I will miss you GMA!
4. Canadian Beer - The similarity between American beer and making love in a canoe? They are both f&^%ing close to water!
5. Toronto - A nice alternative to cities whose only culture is bacteria.
6. Kraft Dinner - I still love the stuff!
7. Not suitable to mention in this forum.
8. Also not suitable to mention in this forum.
9. Definitely not suitable to mention in this forum.
10. Coffee

But I want Stacey's Mom!

Hey! Long time no blog! Well, tradition dictates I start with a short koan from my master...as it were I was in the monastery's requisite Japanese garden where Thousand Fragrance Child was busy planting some rocks. Seeing me perplexed, my master said, "If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are."

Another mind f&^%. Thanks. Unfazed, I replied, "But master, I feel my blog has been inadequate! I have been posting the bare minimum."

Thousand Fragrance Child quietly answered, "If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum."

Ah! Enlightenment is nearly within my grasp!

So last week I was sick with a cold. Totally run down. At night I was taking NeoCitron to help me sleep. This stuff is AMAZING! Totally knocks you out regardless of your level of pain and discomfort. I mean a deep, deep sleep. You wake up feeling so drugged out - it is really quite relaxing. Of course it has enough acetominophen to take out half your liver, but that's why we have the other half people! By the end of the week with my cold safely cured, I was taking the stuff recreationally. If you have not tried it, you must check it out!

Lastly, tonight's meal was Kai Yang. This is a lesser known Thai dish which literally translates into "Garlic Chicken", but it is SO much more! Crush 6 cloves of garlic into 2 teaspoons of salt. Coarsely crush 2 tablespoons of black peppercorns and add to the garlic. I know it sound like a lot BUT DO IT! DO NOT BE AFRAID! Take 4 whole coriander plants, leaves, stems, roots - everything damnit - and finely chop it up and add to the garlic. Mix it all up and rub well into 2 pounds of chicken pieces (that's 1 kg for all you europeans). Cover and put in refrigerator overnight. Grill it and sprinkle with lemon juice. Eat with rice and chopped tomatoes. It has the most intriguing taste! Bon apetite mes amis.

(C'est incroyable! Ou est le sac pour mes legumes? Avec les animaux sauvages??? Attention!)