Today I found my master meditating under a tree and I asked, "If I haven't anything in my mind, what shall I do?".

Thousand Fragrance Child answered, "Throw it out."

"But if I haven't anything, how can I throw it out?" I continued.

"Well," said Thousand Fragrance Child "then carry it out."

Whoa! What has my master been smoking?!? However, perhaps if I pondered this "exchange" (for lack of a better term, let's call it a koan), it may help me on my quest for enlightenment! Yeah right...I T-H-to-tha-izzink my pimp is ridin' me...

Today is a national holiday, usually referred to as the "May 24th Weekend" (if you are cool, or immersed in beer cuture you refer to it as the "May Two-Four Weekend" - Yeah! F*&^%'n Eh!). Ironically, this holiday usually does not fall on May 24th! Why is this?

After obtaining an NSERC grant, I did a little research (inadequate funding = no charts, sorry!)...As any good Canadian may not know, today's holiday is also called "Victoria Day". May 24th, Queen Victoria's birthday, was declared a holiday by the Legislature of the Province of Canada in 1845. After Confederation, the Queen's birthday was celebrated every year on May 24 unless that date was a Sunday, in which case a proclamation was issued providing for the celebration on May 25. After the death of Queen Victoria in 1901, an Act was passed by the Parliament of Canada establishing a legal holiday on May 24 in each year (or May 25 if May 24 fell on a Sunday) under the name Victoria Day. An amendment to the Statutes of Canada in 1952 established the celebration of Victoria Day on the Monday preceding May 25, and hence the reason the holiday often does not fall on May 24th anymore!

Makes you wonder, why haven't we had any good proclamations recently? No one really does the proclamation thing anymore. I think it would be hard to pull off.

This made me think of some other uniquely Canadian holidays - like "Canadian" Thanksgiving Day which occurs in October and is not to be confused with the better marketed and more slick American Thanksgiving Day at the end of November. The first Thanksgiving Day in Canada after Confederation was observed on April 15, 1872, to celebrate the recovery of The Prince of Wales (later King Edward VII) from a serious illness (he had a bad headache). No record is found of a Thanksgiving Day between 1872 and 1879 as during this time there was nothing in Canada for which to be thankful. Starting in 1879 Thanksgiving Day bounces around a lot between October and November and at one point, Thanksgiving Day is equivalent to Armistice Day (i.e. Remembrance Day) and celebrated on November 11th. Finally, the old practice was resumed of fixing Thanksgiving Day by proclamation (I know what you're thinking!), and it has been since 1931 on the second Monday of October. In 1957, a proclamation was issued fixing permanently Thanksgiving Day on that day, thus eliminating the necessity of an annual proclamation.

This proclamation thing is cool! I am starting to think that there never really was any fixed public holidays prior to the 1950's and that the Governor General merely made a "proclamation" for one whenever he/she was too tired to get out of bed. Here is a cool idea for a proclamation: "The Holy Month of June"...

How's that for a digression! Anyway, today I baked ensaymada. It is basically a brioche with a dusting of sugar and grated edam cheese on top. Very yummy! (and you thought I couldn't cook!)

Thousand Fragrance Child held out a short staff and said, "If you call this a short staff, you oppose its reality. If you do not call it a short staff, you ignore the fact. Now what do you wish to call this?"

I hate it when my master gets all "zen" on me...oh well. Today I invented a new form of meditation where you do something for about 8 hours while thinking about everything and anything but what you are doing. I call it "work". So I have a motivation problem. Consistent with my scatter brain, I provide the following scattered thoughts:

Canadian Movies: Used to be that Canadian production was synonymous with crap. Not so anymore! I watched three movies recently which had I known beforehand they were Canadian, I would have passed on principle. All three of these movies were excellent. I mean REALLY excellent! I will not tell you anything about them. Just watch them! They are: "The Last Casino", "Foolproof", and "Steal". Ok, I am not completely sure if "Steal" is totally Canadian, but it was filmed in Montreal (yeah, the french signs in what is supposed to be an American city in the movie is always a nice touch!).

Japanese Music: In investigating the world of j-pop I have come across a few real gems. First, check out a band called "Spitz". Everything they do is great and I want all their CDs. "Jump" by "Every Little Thing" is also very cool. And how can you ignore a band called "Bump of Chicken"?

Englebert: Special lyrics for a special person...

Tell me when will you be mine
Tell me condo, condo, condo
We can share a love divine
Please don´t make me wait again

When will you say ´yes´ to me?
Tell me the capital of Congo, Congo, Congo
You mean happiness to me
Oh, my love, please tell me when

Ev´ry moment´s a day
Ev´ry day seems a lifetime
Let me show you the way
To a joy beyond compare

I can´t wait a moment more
Tell me condo, condo, condo
Say it´s me that you adore
And then, darlin´, tell me when

I found Darth Vader's blog here. Someone has way too much time on their hands. Yet, at the time of me writing this, the last post on his blog has 92 comments! No wonder our planet suffers so much - most of the inhabitants are away in the Land of Make Believe! Just to put this all in perspective, one respondent to the "Tao of Sith" post writes in the form of a poem about her romantic tryst with the Sith Lord. To be fair, this is solid writing talent, even if not my thing. Maybe if I get a map from the CAA of the Galactic Empire I can navigate my way around this strange world. Or, I could just have a beer and watch television instead. Mind you, if we are Managing by Objective here, Lord Vader averages over 80 comments per post while I average about 2. Let me tell you about my nightclub in Middle Earth...

I spent the last couple days in Detroit on business, so you can think of this post as a trip report! One epiphany I had on the drive down was that a blog is really just an on-line diary. I have been trying so hard to be clever that I rarely post! But if it is just a diary of sorts, I can relieve myself of the responsibility of literary quality.

We decided to stay in Windsor overnight because, honestly, Detroit is a pretty depressing place. In case you don't know, Windsor is the Canadian suburb of Detroit. My colleagues from Boston flew into Detroit. One of them came with me in my car to the hotel in Windsor so we crossed the Canadian border together. Between switching lanes and him talking on the cell phone when we pulled up, we must have pissed off the customs officer.

Side note: I cross the border both ways at least twice a month and I must say, for all the tough talk of the Americans on border security, it is the Canadian customs agents who seem to have the biggest cop-wanna-be attitude problems. In general I find the American customs officers firm, but usually polite and respectful.

So robocop points out that my colleague has insufficient documentation. That is fine, and in fact is his job. What is offensive, however, is the condescending delivery and snide remarks. Yes, we know you have lots of power Mr. Customs Man, but a real man doesn't have to flaunt it. Besides, between the two of us, one is a taxpayer and the other a paying guest. Hardly an excuse to be rude. Anyway, we get pulled aside.

The full car search follows. Of course we aren't hiding anything so this is just a waste of time so that the officer, knowing it is a waste of time, can put us in our place, i.e. somewhere under him. Next, into the immigration inspection building where my colleague is to be interrogated for having insufficient documenation. However, while they are setting up for the inquisition, he simply tells them that he forgot to bring all his ID, that he understands they have to point this out and perhaps deny him entry, and if they will in fact not let him enter, to simply just tell him sooner rather than later so that he can go back to Detroit and make other arrangements for accomodation. No wind in the sails anymore. So in the end they let us in anyway. So what could have been a firm, yet polite yes or no at the gate taking all of 2 minutes turned into a condescending, patronizing and unnecessary 30 minutes - for the same outcome! I guess we can also expect a few less tourism dollars this year from my colleague...

Anyway, annoyances at the front door aside, Windsor was nice! My room faced the Detroit River with a view of the entire skyline. Very nice! We went for a nice dinner and then checked out the Casino. We will start a gambling addiction support group at work next week. I think the bartender was flirting with me. She said I looked 28. Went back to the hotel and had a great sleep (finally) and then back to Detroit for work the next day. As predicted, absolutely no hassles at the American border. God bless America.

Nothing is what it seems. Sometimes you feel a little guilty about your behaviour, especially in relation to others (here is a good example). We are alarmed at a seeming lack of thoughfulness, kindness or altruism on our part to others. I have spent the last two weeks in serious study and contemplation on this issue. Full of genuine regret, we sometimes think we have a monopoly on thoughtlessness and selfishness. This is simply not true. The feelings of guilt for acting solely in our self interest is misplaced. Let me tell you why:

How we relate with others is a complex thing. However, it is not from the benelovence of the partner, the lover, or the friend that we expect to feel liked, but from their regard to their own interest. Even those attracted to another will not like them forever if they were not liked in return, i.e. if they are not compensated emotionally. I am not saying that people are motivated in relationships only by self interest. I am only saying that self interest motivates more powerfully and consistently than kindness, altruism and thoughfulness. Simply put, relationships cannot rest their futures on the noblest motives, but must use the strongest motives in the best possible way.

If all seek to promote their own interests in relating to others, the whole of relationships will prosper. In relating to others, one neither intends to promote the other's interest, nor know how much one is promoting it. One intends only their own gain, and one is in this, and many other relationships, led by an invisible hand to promote an end which was no part of one's intention.

We often feel guilty because (1) we assume others in a relationship are acting in our best interests, and (2) acting in our own self interest will not promote the well being of our relationships. Both of these assumptions are false. Until you understand the perhaps counter intuitive fundamentals that define the Economics of Relationships, nothing is as it seems.