I stayed home on friday. It was a good friday - actually it was the Good Friday. There are two things about Good Friday that kept me at home. First, despite the fact I am not religious at all, I was brought up under the Holy Inquisition and therefore remain haunted by the need to remain miserable on Good Friday. Second, Canada has never managed to completely implement the separation of Church and State, so everything is closed for a statutory holiday which only serves to negatively reinforce my superstition regarding Good Friday. I once heard that a superstition only has power when it is not a superstition! I.e. It only has power over us when we believe it to be true (and therefore as a truth for us, it is no longer a superstition). And then it makes us do things like feel miserable on a perfectly good friday. (Important philosophical note: perhaps all we hold to be true are in fact merely superstitions that have power over us. Discuss amongst yourselves...)

So I watched Jersey Girl on the movie channel. You know, Ben Affleck, J-Lo and other actors I recognize but do not care to remember their names. This thing gets a full score on the Bad-Sap-O-Meter. This movie had nothing going for it - it was over acted (Affleck put Shatner to shame at times), the story has been so overdone (absent father realizes he loves his kid more than anything, conveniently at the last scene), and the plot utterly predictable (you could see it coming on the GO train from downtown). Seriously, the ending was as predictable as the cameo by Matt Damon. But here's the thing - I liked it anyway. There is a reason these unrealistic feel good kind of redone stories keep selling - because they resonate with something inside of us. Even though you know they will live happily ever after, you want them to live happily ever after, and you want to see it!...There is also something deep here too I think. Discuss amongst yourselves...

Lastly, this post would not be complete without mentioning that it was also Japan Week on Daily Planet (see! I really stayed home on friday...how else would I know anything about the Discovery Channel's programming). As you may or may not know, Japan has the glorious bullet train (shhhh! don't tell them about our own transportation marvel - the GO train!). Anyway, for various reasons the thing goes something like 280 km/h and the trip from Tokyo to Osaka is only 2 hours. Furthermore, they have had this thing since 1964! Makes you wonder if they already had the internet at the 1890 Tokyo World's Fair. They have a new version of the bullet train coming out that will travel at almost 300 km/h. When asked why the need for this next generation train, one of the bullet train executives said it was obvious because it would shave 5 minutes off the Tokyo-Osaka trip! Seriously, don't tell them about the GO train! Anyway, I just think that says a lot when you need an extra 5 minutes that badly! I hope to go and investigate personally. I will let you know...

Once upon a time there lived an accountant, who went every day to his cubicle inside the big corporation and posted debits and credits in the general ledger. He understood very well the kinds of journal entries required for the various accounts, and as he was a careful worker and had plenty of departments to support. For a long time he was quite happy and contented, and asked for nothing better than what he had.

Now in the employee lunch room dwelt a spirit which now and then appeared to the employees and middle management, and helped them in many ways to become rich and prosperous. The accountant, however, had never seen this spirit, and only shook his head, and absolved never to believe it when anyone spoke of it. But a time was coming when he learned to change his opinion!

One day the accountant carried the financial statements to the office of the Chief Financial Officer, and saw there all sorts of beautiful things, of which he had never even dreamed. Suddenly his daily work seemed to grow harder and heavier, and he conspired to himself: "Oh, if only I were a CFO, and could put my feet up on a solid walnut desk while I asked my secretary to order my lunch, how happy I should be!"

And a voice answered him: "Your wish is heard; a CFO you shall be!"

At the sound of the voice the accountant looked around, but could see nobody. He thought it was all his fancy, and picked up his calculator and went back to his office, for he was full of apathy and did not feel inclined to do any more work that day. But when he reached the little cublicle where he worked, he stood still with amazement, for instead of his cubicle was a stately office filled with splendid furniture, and most splendid of all was the desk, in every respect like the one he had envied. He was nearly beside himself with joy, and in his new position the old one was soon forgotten.

It was now the beginning of the budget season, and each day the company President outlined his strategy for the coming year with little constraint. One morning the demands were so great that the accountant could scarcely bounce back, and he determined he would stay in his office till the evening. He was rather dull, for he had never learned how to amuse himself, and was peeping through the closed blinds to see what was going on in the street, when a Rolls Royce passed by. In the car sat the Chief Executive Officer, happily abiding by antitrust legislation that protected him from his larger competitors' aggressive sales and marketing campaigns.

"Oh, if I were only a CEO!" said the accountant to himself, as the car vanished around the corner. "Oh, if I were only a CEO, and could go in such a limosine and have antitrust laws to protect me, how happy I should be!" And a CEO he was. Everything his heart could desire was his. But yet it was not enough. He looked around still for something to wish for, and when he saw that in spite of the innovative products his company developed, his larger competitors used predatory pricing to steal customers away, and that in spite of antitrust laws each day his client base shrank and shrank. He deplored in his anger: "These competitors are mightier than I; oh, if I only had a monopoly!"

And the lunchroom spirit answered: "Your wish is heard; a monopoly you shall have."

And a monopoly he had, and felt himself proud in his power. He quickly devastated all his competitors on earth; he put many companies out of business, established firms as well as startups. But in a short time he began to grow tired of his might, for there seemed nothing left for him to do. Discontent once more transcended his soul, and when a government regulatory body launched an investigation of his firm, and brought his monopolistic practices into question, he cried in his anger: "Does the government hold captive my business strategies, and is it mightier than I? Oh, that I were the Prime Minister, and mightier than any!"

And the lunchroom spirit answered: "Your wish is heard; the Prime Minsiter you shall be!"

And the Prime Minister he was, and lay between the monopolists and the consumer. He regulated the monopolist's businesses and set pricing, and to his joy the economy grew again and new markets blossomed. But that was not enough for him, and for days and weeks he poured forth needless legislation till the beauracracy overflowed their government offices, and the consumers stood deep in taxes. Many companies were destroyed by the excesses of government intervention, only the clever entrepreneurs remained unmoved. The Prime Minister was amazed at the sight, and cried in wonder: "Is the clever entrepreneur, then, mightier than I? Oh, if I were only a clever entrepreneur!"

And the lunchroom spirit answered; "Your wish is heard; a clever entrepreneur you shall be!"

And a clever entrepreneur he was, and gloried in his power. Proudly he stood, and neither the money of the monoplists nor the laws of the government could move him. "This is better than all!" he said to himself. But one day he heard a strange noise in his trendy offices, and when he looked into the finance department to see what it could be, he saw an accountant performing an audit on his books. Even while he looked, a trembling feeling ran all through him, and his off-balance sheet arrangements were deemed inadmissable under GAAP and caused him to restate earnings. Then he cried in his wrath: "Is a mere accountant mightier than an entrepreneur? Oh, if I were only an accountant!"

And the lunchroom spirit answered: "Your wish is heard. An accountant once more you shall be!"

And an accountant he was, and in the sweat of his brow he toiled again at his trade of debits and credits. His desk was pre-fab and his lunch packed, but he had learned to be satisfied with it, and did not long to be something or somebody else. And as he never asked for things he did not have, or desired to be greater and mightier than other people, he was happy at last, and never again heard the voice of the lunchroom spirit.

Domo arigato, Mr. Mugato, Mata ah-oo hima de
Domo arigato, Mr. Mugato, Himitsu wo shiri tai

Oh yeah! I was back in the game last night. You know what I am talking about...It was inevitable that I would be back for the attack at the sushi bar after the unfortunate incident at Chek Lap Kok. First, I had to decide where to go: the downscale, yet accessible "Little Tokyo" or the more extravagant "Sagano" with its breathtaking rooftop vistas of Scarberia. Ok, nevermind the view. Oblivious to any fiscal responsibility, I went right up the elevator to yellow tail heaven. I should mention that a nice young lady gave me a free parking pass when I got there...such good fortune and I hadn't even started to eat!

It was busy, but a lot of people suits the place. Unfortunately, my order was taken rather abruptly, which caused me dismay because I like the whole ritual of eating at a nice restaurant: sitting down for a few minutes, the drinks order, mulling over the menu, and finally ordering the food. But it is what it is, so I let it slide in anticipation of the delights that awaited. After the requisite sushi, I was hardly coherent anymore as I drove down tempura highway - in the sunshine, where the days are longer and the nights are stronger than moonshine...

Regarding that ritual I alluded to earlier...one aspect of it which I do not enjoy so much, yet is prevalent in North America, is the excessive delay between asking for the cheque, and completing the payment. In my mind, I figure if you have asked for the cheque, you are ready to leave! Why must we wait? Are they clearing my credit card by telegraph back there?!? In many other countries (e.g. China, Philippines), they present the cheque and stand there in order to complete the payment immediately. That's the kind of efficiency I enjoy! Then again, maybe they are just afraid you will leave without paying. Alas, sometimes we live in a world of fear...What's cooler than cool? Ice cold.

Hey, I almost forgot to mention the wonderful conversation I had! Great night.

I want to know your secrets! (btw, I know the real words of the song! I'm just trying to be clever like the rest of these blog people!)

Big puffy snowflakes today. I like those kind. Although I don't think we need any more snow accumulating! Spring already! But I digress...

Just an intriguing week all around so far. I guess we become inattentive sometimes to the subtly decadent nuances of our lives. But they linger...sometimes they manifest themselves at 2 in the morning. And you realize you need sleep. But you go to bed very happy.

I have breathed in 1000 scents and I am captivated by the taste. I will inhale again at the source and in the Western Pure Land. Eternal happiness is mine.

A deceptively simple tale - a love story set in Asia, intermingled with recipes, related in unadorned, uncomplicated language. Yet when the ingredients are combined and simmer, subtle and unusual flavours emerge. On one level, this is the story of Hana, eldest daughter of the formidable patriarch Papa Omiai who forbids Hana to marry her true love Wo-Hu because tradition says that the eldest daughter must live with her mother forever. When Wo-Hu becomes a systems engineer in order to be near Hana, it begins a life-long conflict filled with passion, deception, anger, and pure love. Interwoven throughout the narrative are the recipes, which, like an ancient Greek chorus, provide an ongoing metaphorical commentary on the characters and their culture. Finally, there is the food itself that Hana creates as head cook on the family estate, food so vibrant and sensual, so imbued with her feelings of longing, frustration, rebellion, or love, that it affects everyone who eats it. The combination of all these elements, with a good measure of the supernatural thrown in, makes for an earthy, quirky tale, sad and funny, passionate, and direct, told by Hana's grand-daughter who follows in her footsteps, using her cookbook and continuing a tradition quite different from the one her great-grandfather tried to impose.

Adapted from a review by Erica Bauermeister in 500 Great Books by Women

Hathead asks: "Is the look of the queen tied to the valuation of our currency? Was our currency worth more when she was hawt?" First, I want to acknowledge that this type of brave questioning is exactly what leads to intellectual breakthrough, and moves our human society forward. So, let us plot the exchange rate of the Canadian Dollar to the US dollar (widely accepted as one of two standard benchmarks - the other being Canadian Tire money). For convenience I have overlaid the looks of Her Majesty for the four periods discussed in the previous post:

As you can see, the correlation is obvious by inspection! The Canadian dollar remained highly valued through the Queen's pretty period and well into the HOT period, often being worth more that the US dollar (and why wouldn't it be - I mean look at her!). We should not be suprised, however, that it starts to fall as she approaches the stately period and into the lowest of lows as the scary period commences. Amazingly, this law that shows that the value of the Canadian dollar is set by the looks of Lizzy has gone unnoticed by the experts. History tells us that often it takes an unbiased outsider to make the big discoveries. So there you have it, the Law of Hot Sovereigns. I owe it all to Hathead (and I promised myself I wouldn't cry...).

Look! more sleepy people!

My friends and I reviewed the state of Canadian currency the other night. Not silly things like its relative strength to the US dollar, but the important stuff like the pictures on it. We have noticed that since dropping the $1 and $2 bills, the Queen is now only on the $20 bill. We also noticed that Gene Wilder is on the $10 bill. Fortunately, she remains on all the coins, and given that coins last such a long time, you get a mini life story of the Queen just by pulling change out of your pocket:

From 1953-1964, you can see that Her Majesty is very pretty. However, by 1965 she is HOT! You even got that off-the-shoulder thing going on. What a tease! Things are not so exciting anymore by 1991, although adjectives like "stately" are appropriate. I am scared of anything since 2002.

On another note, can someone explain to me what is going on here: http://cologne0.blogspot.com/? I am pretty sure this could be acclaimed for the "WTF" award this year.

Leibnitz is not pleased! We shall need to review the derivation of the Law of Disappearing Cash. Empirically we know that the more you make, the less cash there is in your wallet. This is illustrated in figure 1:


figure 1

The exact amount of cash will depend on what you started with, but the shape of the graph will remain the same. You can see that for a time, the amount of cash actually rises as revenues increase. This represents your high school and college years. Now the amount of cash is given by:


In order to match the empirical data represented in figure 1, this equation implies that Consumption must increase faster than revenues. This situation is illustrated in figure 2:


figure 2

Now, the change in Consumption with respect to Revenue is given by the tangent to the curve in figure 2 (i.e. by the first order derivative of Consumption wrt Revenue). By inspection (the green lines!), we see that the slope of the tangent is ALWAYS increasing as revenues increases. This is shown in figure 3:


figure 3

The slope of the tangent will never = 0 or decline! Therefore the rate of change of Consumption wrt Revenue (the second order derivative) is always > 0!

QED.

Have you ever noticed that the more money you make, the more broke you seem to become? In college I had a part time job making next to nothing (I think I actually had to pay my employer for the priviledge of working there) and I always seemed to have extra cash. Now I have a full time AND part time job and my wallet is empty. Being the scientist that I am, I studied this phenomenon with statistical rigour (I asked a couple friends), and it turns out, unequivocally, that this is in fact a universal law! So, for the history books I would like to stipulate Chan Thai Long's Law of Disappearing Cash: The rate of change of consumption with respect to revenue will always increase:



Where C=Consumption and R=Revenue

You will notice a simplicity and aesthetic quality to the equation reminiscent of Eistein's Theory of Relativity. I am prepared to present this new law to the world's next great economic forum. I will wear protective clothing. I know it is hard to believe, but my last great foray into economics was also soundly ignored by my economist peers. I find my only consolation in the fact that the world's greatest minds are never truly appreciated in their own times.

Some people simply exude possibility. I find such people very compelling. (BTW for all you etymologists out there, exude is from the latin exsudare, from ex- + sudare to sweat.)

I have also continued my research of blogs. There is an awful lot of ranting going on people! I would have to say that satisfaction with the life product is a little low for a large portion of the current customer base. Don't dispair, there is talk of a new, improved version that is up to 50% better.

You should know that I, the Big Dragon, have dabbled in the music over the years. I was most serious during college when I played in "the band". We did the usual tour of the local bars, and oddly, were not "discovered" by the record companies. Well "the band" broke up (i.e. someone got a girlfriend), and I never got back to it. I have since redabbled (new english word © 2005 Me) from time to time, trying out the midi/digital angle amongst other things.

Yesterday, I was converting some music I had written and recorded from tape to mp3 format (I have heard a rumour that everything is going digital these days). I dug up one song I had recorded with "the band" back in 1988. That's right - authentic 80's! In hindsight it's a little embarrassing, but we are talking full on 80's glam-rock with the hair. I also provide the following visual aid:

Welcome to my blog! This is my first entry in my first ever blog. I was torn about whether to blog or not, I mean it is so 2004. I might as well go out and buy an iPod. But yesterday I spent a couple hours with HatHead and he convinced me once again that there is still value in the internet. For example: Red vs. Blue. A drama series acted inside a video game. Now this is the value I'm talking about! But alas, I digress...

I took it upon myself to do a thorough research of existing blogs (ok, I checked out like 5). I must say, the bar seems to have been raised in the blog domain...the really good ones have a "theme". Let's take HatHead. His claims to be "The blog of HatHead who, after awakening after spending a millennia in cryogenic freezing with his hat on, discovers he is the only living human musician and so returns to the present to save music from the machines". How am I supposed to compete with this kind of creative horsepower? Here's another one: "manicdepressivepsychogoddess". Hard to deny the interest factor there...ok, here's one "built for the advancement of Texas Hold'em". Ok, so this last one proves there is still hope for me in the blog arena. So I have been lying awake at night trying to come up with a "theme" of my own. Tossing and turning...surely my own creative prowess could match wits with my fellow bloggers (yeah, like I am part of an association now). But nothing. I have the old Blog Theme Creator's Block ("BTCB" as it is known in the industry for all you amateurs).

So that's where we stand. No theme. I can't even do a blog "about nothing" - like THAT isn't so overdone. Now back to work...